Some days my brain is like a tangled ball of yarn, with words desperately trying to unravel themselves, but ending up in a mess of knots.
Today is one of those days.
I woke up with the need to type out some thoughts.
Initially, I planned to write a letter about my adventures in Iceland, but as I sat down to write, I felt that this was not the time (or perhaps the place) to do so. Then, after coming across some astonishing news, I decided to write about AI and how it threatens the priceless quality of human creativity. But the more I tried to articulate these thoughts, the more I found myself at a loss for words.
Perhaps this is a sign that I need to sit with these feelings a bit longer, to allow them to percolate and take shape… Or that maybe I should just give up and use ChatGPT. 🤷
To sum up, I guess I'm ultimately writing about not writing.
This feeling is quite common for me and I’m sure many can relate. Waiting to write but being unable to do so is immensely frustrating. But it's also an excellent opportunity to understand what kind of beliefs may be limiting the creative flow.
This state of discouragement prompted me to ask: what exactly goes through my mind in moments of creative crisis?
Turns out, my thoughts are like a circus, full of contradiction and self-doubt - not exactly the best cheerleaders for my creative spirit. After all, without confidence and pride in our abilities, how can we even feel compelled to create?
Now, since Letters From The Hills is all about honesty, here's a list of random thoughts (lists are apparently my thing) I usually have when faced with the blank page syndrome:
How can I create good content if I barely even glance at a book these days?
Time to pull the plug on my Netflix addiction, for real.
Many great writers out there swear by a glass of wine to ignite their creative spark… maybe I just need to pour myself some Verdevique…
It's totally natural (and totally OK) to have some periods where inspiration is as scarce as a unicorn.
Or does this mean I'm not a real writer? Not even an aspiring one?
I'm never going to be the next Rupi Kaur.
Why do I keep mentioning Rupi Kaur, I don’t even like her work that much.
At least she is writing.
But honestly, who cares about actual talent these days? It's all about clickbait.
Maybe I should whip up some clickbait gold.
Nah.
Maybe I should pour myself that glass of wine, Bukowski style.
What if I’m simply lacking in talent?
That’s not possible, I won a writing contest when I was fourteen.
That means sh*t, Raquel.
Does it really, though? Pilar* says I'm talented and special, but that I've lost confidence in my abilities. Maybe I should trust her judgment.
My ability to write aimlessly is truly unparalleled. That’s something, right?
Lol.
(Do people still uselol*or am I part of some weird 1%?)I've got to hand it to myself - it takes a certain level of creativity to produce such a letter.
Pilar is right. I still got it.
Should I really publish this nonsense…?
Yeah why not!
*1 Pilar is my therapist, in case you’re wondering.
*2 Apparently not.
This is just how silly things can get, dear reader. But if you ever find yourself trapped in a creative drought, try jotting down the thoughts that come to mind - you might be surprised by what you discover. As I've already mentioned, these thoughts are often not the best cheerleaders for a writer or any creative being, but it's important to confront them and push through self-doubt.
In my case, documenting and confronting these thoughts led me to write an article of approximately 800 words that may or may not be of any use (but hey, you be the judge of that!). For me, the process was a cathartic experience - a wild ride of self-doubt and sarcastic quips that led me to a comforting "aha!" moment.
They say the key to good writing is to keep at it, so here I am, ready to tackle that blank page once again.
🌈Uplifting little things from these last days
Great wines in the company of even great friends. Ala vida. Roasted artichokes. Strolling through Granada and falling in love with the colors and scents of spring. Sunset bike rides. Buying fresh carnations. My homemade spinach pesto, which keeps getting better. Inspiring conversations with Antonio and Manolo. Receiving a letter from my past self (so cool, try it out).